Emotional Intelligence is defined as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships” according to Daniel Goleman, author of several books on the topic.  A large body of research supports it as a key predictor of success in life and business.

There are many emotional intelligence traits and a key trait found in great salespeople is assertiveness.  Assertiveness involves the ability to communicate clearly and specifically, while at the same time being sensitive to the needs of others.  Let’s “link” the dots.

The hot topic this month is using social medial (Linked In, Face Book, Twitter, etc.) as a sales tool.  It can be a shortcut if you understand how to use it; it can also be an escape route and a time sucking activity that creates the illusion of successful prospecting.

Scenario 1: Betty Busy gets to the office at 8AM thinking she’ll get some emails done before the workday.  She checks email, face book, Linked In, Twitter, several newsletters and daily quotes.  Before long it is 10:30AM, but she feels good about time well spent because she accepted 3 invites to link with people she just met.  She has over 500 people Linked to her and has a nice fan base that follows her on FaceBook.  She’s proud of her web presence.  She is fooling herself.

What does she lack:  Assertiveness

Here’s how someone with a high score of assertiveness uses social media.

Scenario 2: Meet Alice Assertive.  Alice starts her day at 8AM, logs on to Linked In and runs an advanced search to see what CEO’s in the Denver area she may have mutual connections to and pulls up a list of over 150.  She has her assistant create a spreadsheet and sorts them by contacts she knows.  In 20 minutes she has a list.  If her assertive score were mid range she might send an email asking for an introduction, but Alice’s score is high so she picks up the phone, calls the people she knows and asks for them to set up a lunch with the person she wants to meet.  Fifteen minutes later she has a lunch meeting set up for the following week with an ideal prospect.

Technology can be a great time saving tool, but only if we are assertive enough to use it to our full advantage. Knowing what to say in a selling situation is important, however, without the right amount of assertiveness, the words may never leave your lips.

Merit Gest teaches people how to become Possibility Thinkers at conferences around the globe.  To book Merit for your next event, please call 720-980-1286, or visit www.MeritGest.com


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